Let's see if everybody REALLY wanted me to write a blog...

Hello, world. 

I find myself writing this blog, feeling a little like a “Who” in Dr. Suess, wondering exactly why I’m writing, except for the oft heard phrase after Kyle’s cancer blog – repeat after me in your best Jewish mother voice – “You should write!  Something!  Anything!  A book!  You made me laugh; you made me cry…you’re like Erma Bombeck (not so much)…don’t stop writing!”

So…well…okay. 

And hence the title of this blog.  Now, I’d like to take credit for the title but that honor goes completely to Katie B.  My oldest uses this verbal shorthand to announce and set the tenor of any conversation that could follow:

SO – emphatically stated; it indicates the story that follows is either derisive or not to be believed.  For example, “SO, guess what somebody asked me today in the pharmacy about OTHER uses for KY Jelly?!?”  Trust me; you don’t want to know the question.  I didn’t want my daughter to HEAR the question; thank God she didn’t know the answer.  Usually SO is followed by “guess what?” or “you know that guy…”. 

WELL – pleading, tentatively, quietly spoken.  Usually the fore bearer of bad news, as in “Well, my grades are in…”  Typically ‘but’ has a very prominent place in any statements that follows ‘well’.   However, WELL can also mean a piece of good gossip.  That WELL is distinguishable by the drawn out nature of the word flourished with a tinge of excitement and a salacious exclamation point at the end – “Wellllll…!”  Of course there is the alternate but less used meaning of the indignant “WELL.” as in “Well.  Guess what my ex-girlfriend did now…!” 

But of all the lead-ins, OKAY is my favorite.  You know going in that when the conversation starts with OKAY, a dual explanation follows.  Part one is usually less than pleasant – “OKAY, I quit my job today.”  But part two rapidly follows – “But I got a better job selling magazines door-to-door!”  OKAY is the negotiating opener, as in you-may-not-like-what-you-hear-first-but-wait-until-the-end-surprise!  If you’re going to use OKAY it means not taking a breath UNTIL you’ve completed part 1 and 2.  An OKAY opener could sound like this – “OKAY, you know how you never liked or trusted my boyfriend?  We got engaged this weekend, and then we thought, why wait?  Let’s just elope – and that’s just what we did!  See, you were totally wrong about him, Mom…Mom? Hello?”  The OKAY opener requires you sit down, take a deep breath and think on your feet (hard, because you're, you know, sitting down) because it usually contains the statement ‘remember I told you…’ – and the hamster on the wheel in your brain starts to whirl because either a) they didn’t tell you; or b) they did tell you and in your declining brain capacity that thought got moved to the Recycle Bin if not deleted outright. 

SO, y’all wanted me to write a blog, huh?

WELL, here it is, but what if it’s awful and nobody reads it?

OKAY.  Remember how you all said that I should continue writing a blog or publish a book?  I’m quitting my job and writing full-time.  See all the followers – you were right!  What a great decision I made?! It’s so easy - just press the PayPal button to contribute to my financial well-being…Hello?...Anyone?